Wine as mouthwash? Yes please!– Barnard Griffin Syrah Port 2008

Nov 25 2009

I’m nervous.  I’m about to make the jump to the left of the page– to the “wine” section of the PalateBomb archives.  Always being immediately relegated into the “not wine” section on the right has left me with a constant feeling of inferiority I haven’t felt since the days of dodgeball.  It’s like the hot or not of the wine blogging world.  Now, this 2008 Syrah Port by Barnard Griffin is going to move me on over to the left for the first time.  The last thing to move me to the left had a Yale and Harvard education (supposedly), refused to use words from the English language, and choked on a pretzel once (well, only once that we know of).  I imagine this Port tastes much better.

I’ve held onto it for awhile ever since it was bestowed upon me to review.  It was a test in patience that I think I passed with flying colors.  But this Friday night, after going out with a friend fell through at the last minute, I needed something to do.  Naturally, I retired to my wine cellar and the Port stood out like an oasis in the Sahara.  Actually, it was at the foot of my bed as I went into my room to change into my cowboy pajamas.  The point’s still the same.  My patience ran out, I ripped the bottle out of the bag that had been protecting it from light for the past two months, and kept my clothes on because I felt that my outfit that day was especially wine reviewer-esque.  Even if no one was there to see me, I looked the part.  You’ll have to trust me because I refuse to take pictures of myself in the mirror or have a MySpace account– two things that go hand in hand.  Regardless, my outfit was more suitable for my big wine reviewing debut than cowboy pajamas would have been.

I took the bottle to my kitchen and was thrilled to see that I required no corkscrew, or shoe and hard building.  I only had to unscrew the top.  As I let that breathe, I considered some food to have with it.  I’m bad with decisions, so I pulled out a bit of everything.  I had some dark chocolate, some walnuts and almonds, and half of a bagel with Nutella.  I thought some fruit would go well with it as well, but it was the end of the week and the only fruit– although it’s not really a fruit either– remaining was a pomegranate.  I wanted to get to this wine; opening up a pomegranate would only keep me from it longer.  Next time.

I chose the walnuts because when I first tasted this, and it was my first Port at the time, I was told by an intelligent Port veteran that Ports taste like walnuts.  I quickly agreed, and not just out of politeness.  I honestly agreed, but afterward I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually eaten a walnut.  So I wanted to eat walnuts side by side with the wine to make sure I hadn’t simply been affected by one of the same fallacies of wine reviewing summarized in this sure-to-be controversial Wall Street Journal article which mentions that one California wine was described as “Dusty, chalky scents followed by mint, plum, tobacco and leather. Tasty cherry with smoky oak accents…” in one publication, and “promising aromas of lavender, roasted herbs, blueberries, and black currants” in another.

But sure enough, that taste is walnuts.  And the taste of walnut is much better in a wine.  I now know why I hadn’t eaten a walnut in a while.  The description provided by Barnard Griffin makes no mention of walnuts; apparently instead it’s “shadings of earth.”  I’m no marketer, but I’d prefer to call it walnut than dirt. They also say there’s cherry and plum in there.  I can taste the cherry just about as strongly as the walnut.  When sipped quickly, it goes down smoother than any red wine I’ve had.  I think the Syrah and cherry tastes blend to overpower the bitterness that usually comes with (and turns me off of) walnut, preserving only the unique and tasty meatiness of it.  When I keep the wine on my tongue for a bit– maybe that’s a strange thing to do, I wouldn’t know– it turns spicy, a completely different feeling than when I swallowed immediately.  It tasted like Listerine, if Listerine had come out with a delicious new wine flavor.  I did not swish it, but I did like achieving this spicy effect right after nibbling some of the chocolate.  Perhaps the spiciness came from the mysterious plums.  Are there spicy plums?

I have just one beef with this Port.  What’s with the bottle being so small?  Let’s make it a little bigger next year, okay?

As I’m trying more and more red wines, and finding ones that I like, this is the first one I can say I truly enjoyed.  Yes, I’ve found others I liked the taste of, but this is the first one I remember the taste of long after, just as I have long done with beers I truly enjoy.  This was an excellent introduction to Ports, and I hope it’s a gateway to many more.  Additionally, I hope the others know that the bar has been set high by Barnard Griffin.

Now that I’m done with my first review, I just have one question for next time.  Is there any sort of rule against reviewing the same wine twice?

No Corkscrew? No problem…

Nov 22 2009

Everyone has, at some point, found themselves with a bottle of wine and without a corkscrew. It’s one of the most trivial, but frustrating dilemmas out there. Once, I spent a good half hour in my London flat pushing a cork in with a butter knife, sometimes changing my mind and trying to pull it out. When the mission was finally accomplished, I was left with a rather corky wine and more stress than even the whole bottle would relieve.

But how often do you find yourself with a bottle of wine and no shoe around?  Unless you’re drinking a lot on the beach or you’re in need of a good life coach, your answer should be not very often.  And you shouldn’t be drinking from glass on the beach anyways.

If you have shoes, thanks to this genius, corkscrews are now obsolete.  You’ll also need a hard building.  No big deal.  There’s a Starbucks on every street corner.  Put them to use.

Now, I haven’t attempted replicating the feat accomplished here, and I don’t plan to.  There are very few things I fear in this world, but getting little red stains is one of them.  I’m timid just trying to swirl my wine, so I’m not banging any bottles against walls any time soon, even with the best Dr. Scholl’s insoles.  But don’t let me stop you.

“Saw 387″ or “The Morning After”

Nov 11 2009

I woke up fully dressed and in a dark room I didn’t recognize.  I couldn’t find a door.  My first impression was that I had woken up on the set of the next edition of the Saw series.  After sighing at the realization that this meant there would be yet another Saw movie– terror set in as I looked for any indication of the crazy clown dude.  Relief came when portraits tipped me off to whose house I was in, and then I remembered why I was there. Nevertheless, the issue at hand was still that I had a full bladder in a doorless room.  I considered the bowl that had been placed by the futon– and was probably meant for other bodily fluids– but I pressed on until I found the door.  Further anxiety ensued when I realized that I had no idea what was on the other side of that door.  I didn’t remember coming through it the first time.  For all I knew, crazy clown dude– I’m sure he has a name, but I won’t dignify Saw with a bit of research– could be on the other side.

Long story short, I weighed the possible consequences of going through, and of not going through the door and I chose to open it.  That went smoothly; I found the bathroom and, soon, my way home.  However, the ache I still had in my head was only surpassed in magnitude by the suck in the Seahawks when they allowed 17 unanswered points to the Detroit Lions later that day.

And this is why I think that next year, the Tri-Cities Wine Festival should put a warning in bold print on their program for the public tasting after listing the 387 wines on pour that you should not, under any circumstance, try them all.

So maybe I’m exaggerating (me? never!), but I do think I got Palatebomb’s money’s worth on Saturday night at the Three Rivers Convention Center.  At first I was a bit overwhelmed by the sight of nearly a hundred wineries pouring in one room, but it didn’t take long to embrace it with my Palatebomb chums.

Seeing all sorts of wineries I had never heard of, and not knowing where to start, I just followed Claire and tasted what she tasted, usually reacting with a yea or nay.  She reacted by breaking my glass.  We tried wines from interesting places like San Juan Island and wines with interesting main ingredients like mead wine, made from honey.

Although my reviews of the wines were so succinct and monotonous that they brought Claire to laughter several times, I apparently have a nose for judging them– or at least a nose for finding the best in show.  While waiting in line to taste from its much busier neighbor, I lost patience, and said that we should taste Upland Winery’s instead.  Minutes later, Upland’s 2007 Malbec was announced as Best in Show for the event.  Congratulations to Upland.  I think this calls for a trip to Sunnyside (and not much does).

As I watched swarms move to the spot in front of Upland where we had just vacated, I realized this meant all the wines had been judged.  So someone, no, someones, had actually tasted all 387 wines.  Now, I showed livestock as a kid, so I’m familiar with this show and be judged format.  But I would hate to be a livestock judge who wanders upon a wine festival and thinks about his or her job in comparison to that of a wine judge.  The former gets to stare at pig butts on a hot summer day, for that entire summer day, only to get dirty looks from the parents of all the kids who didn’t win.  Their dinner consists of a funnel cake, a deep-fried Snickers and some much-too-sweet lemonade.  The judges at the wine festival?  Apparently they get to taste 387 wines, probably in some hotel suite, because I never saw them.  And they probably got to chase all the wine with the delicious hors d’oeuvres provided by such restaurants as Picazo 7Seventeen and Anthony’s.  I guess they taste blindly, without knowledge of the winery that entered each wine.  So the only dirty look on this night was not directed at the judges, but at me, and came from a high school friend who made it just before looking away quickly and pretending not to see me.  Nice to see you too.

Kudos to the Tri-Cities Wine Society on their biggest wine festival yet.  I thoroughly enjoyed myself and everyone I talked to seemed to as well.  I just have one suggestion to make it better next year.  I would recommend inviting a certain wine judge I know.  I’ll give you his contact details later, but for now I’ll give you a hint as to his name.  It starts with a “D” and ends with an “an Ophardt”.  I can’t really tell you why he would make the festival better, but I have a feeling he would eagerly accept any offer.  If nothing else, just let him know how it’s possible to try 387 wines without dying.  He would sure love to try it.