Dan Ophardt

• Age: 23
• Favorite Wine: Late Harvest Riesling from Hogue Cellars
• Leave Favorite Wine: The Cabernet Blanc that, together with tidbits of taco and a generous splash of his stomach acid, still fertilizes the grass in the courtyard of his Sydney apartment complex.
• Words of Wisdom for Future Generations: Don’t graduate with a journalism degree during a recession, or better yet, just don’t graduate with a journalism degree.
• Childhood Dream: Grow up
• Current Dream: Grow down

Dan is a product of Prosser, who went and got himself a New York education and is now back in Washington wine country with the soul purpose of becoming a wine connoisseur.  That’s a lie.  He likes to write, but his parents never mistreated him and they possessed quirks which annoyed him, but were only mildly quirky and which are only more annoying now that he realizes that fact, he doesn’t have any (extraordinarily) crazy ex-girlfriends, he planned his Euro trip to the day so he never found himself in the torture dungeon of a Prague hostel, and we repeat: he grew up in Prosser.  Thus, he has little to write about.  He considered replacing his adolescence of band concerts and serving as the butt of fat jokes with one full of crime and drugs for a best-selling memoir, but James Frey seems to already have a stranglehold on the fictional non-fiction genre.  So instead, he’s created a challenge for himself— to come to like wine, and know why he likes it.

So far in his challenge, Dan is enjoying making baby steps and writing about his experiences.  He’s got a long way to go, but is hoping to soon become the Carrie Bradshaw of the wine tasting world as he searches for the wine that will be his Mr. Big.  (Dan’s note: I have never actually voluntarily watched Sex and the City.  But, I have found women to be persuasive in my lifetime, and my awareness of Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big is a result of that fact.  So sue me.  Just be sure to wait four years to do so and hire me as your lawyer.)  Look to him for accounts of the escapades that unfold in the passage from wine boy to wine man.

In fact, he would love it if you would call him wine man if he ever succeeds in his mission.  Better yet, you can even add a “super” in front and make him some sort of tacky costume.